During the spring thaw and flowers blooming I can’t help but think of flow of myself and life. Often on social media I post things from many different spiritual influences and sometimes I wonder where I am in what I post. Wisdom I share by Richard Rohr, the Buddha, Jesus and many, many others are often what I am striving for but people have said (including my wise wife) that it can come across as I am that and telling others this is where they need to be; however, that is not the case. Most often this is wisdom that I recognize that I would like to achieve myself, or am currently working on achieving now but most often, I am not what I send, or sometimes I actually am in that presence state at this time. It really depends on where I am in life’s flow at that particular time. Often when sharing something I feel extremely hypocritical but I feel something inside me that has to share the particular piece of wisdom. Other times, when I am working one of the 12 Steps, I have done something I shared but I am not in that space now but learned something very valuable, only to be visited by a similar lesson later on that I completely falter on…again.
What I realize is it’s about flow. Where am I in the Spirit and are we flowing together or am I being a narcissistic, self-important asshole? Each day is really different and one thing I really have learned is during my contemplative prayer, try to feel the flow of the day. Can I abide in presence and love to guide me or there a preverbal, or literal, storm surrounding me (like my son going through 3 year old mental developmental and emotional changes causing serious outbursts of emotions). Regardless of this, what I feel is important is the continual question, where am I in the flow now.
This is one reason I think that the 12 Steps are a wonderful practice (not just for alcoholics like myself). It constantly questions where one is in the flow as are you fighting it with stubbornness (my personal favorite, I’ve got a doctorate in stubbornness) or are you surrendering to it (false-self to true-self) and going with the flow. This is why one does not graduate from the 12 Steps. You don’t get a certificate of completion after working step 12 and say “Congratulations, you’re cured!!!!”….Ahhh…no. It’s a true discernment that requires discipline and a lot of loving support.
I pray all of you find peace and are able to abide in the Divine flow.